Autumn part two

Autumn is yet my  future!

It  lies before me as a distant  landscape,

 Shrouded in mist,

 Vague,

 Unrevealed.....

Yet  predictable  ?

 A swirling sea of

Hopes and  ambitions.

 I turn and see the landscape behind me,

The paths already trod,

 The success,

The failures,

The expectations met,

The disappointments

And  wonder:

Is my  future set in what is past,  to be more of  the same.

Are we but  passengers aboard  the ship of  life  ?

Destined  to sail at  the whim of  the  wind  of  fate, 

The tides of  fortune

Or does some captain guide  the helm, to

Follow charts ordained  before our birth, or am I the captain

That with  free will

Make my own meandering to the final port of death  ?

And does Calvin have a lot  to answer?

Not  I, nor any man

Shall  know the workings of  that machine and what  does

It matter, we shall  be what we shall  be,

Destined or free.

So, where would  I have my meandering take me,

At what ports would my voyage of  desires find me

Peace, contentment, achievement,  fulfilment.

For I to sit and be at peace with me,

With who I am and what  I’ve done. To be all

That I can be is my  fulfilment and my being

Me is my achievement.

My being me is my achievement, and how easy it is

To be ourselves, true to our visions, our hopes, are we

Not conditioned,  to conform to the expectations

Of others, parents, peer groups.  We conform lest stepping

Out men think us...

“too too for this world made shy”

But then (a vision), a truth once thought  lives forever

In the change it makes to one’s thinking, one’s life.

So I will strive to be me, to find my dreams, my

Visions, the child.

Till  then, what of peace, does it  lie beyond  the hills of our

Fulfilment only to be attained when all is done.

For visions of what could make the  present sour.

Do visions then only serve to give hope to the future,

No more than an imaginary better place?

To escape the pain of what is now?

If  that  be all, should  I not abandon them and live now

And come to terms with what I’m Not.

To live in reality and not in hopes delusion.

At what point does happiness lie, not in the achievement

Of what we seek, but in the contentment

Of what we have, of what we are.

Can not  both  live together?

Contentment with achievement

Inspired  to go on by hopes of what

Might be yet to come.

A man who climbs a mountain and as he climbs

Only looks at  his feet and  feels their pain,

Looks at  life too close.

  To stop and see the view and enjoy the climb.

For all   life is futile, unless it is for living and  living is now.

So live not in your visions, but in your journey to them.

  Stand  back  from life and see the view

And play the music of  pathos,

weep and  laugh,

Not  in anguish or despair,

But in joy and pain of being  yourself,

Alive.

And see yourself a child in freedom.