Teenage Angst
The only specific definition I can find for “teenage angst” is from the Urban
dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teen%20angst. :-
“When teenagers, for any number of reasons combined with their hormones and stress from school, get depressed. Contrary to popular belief, some teenagers actually do have it rough and have to deal with shit most adults don't have to. Other teens don't and just like to pretend they do. Either way, everyone has a right to be pissed off
Teen who actually has it tough and has teen angst as a result:
"I am really depressed man my parent died and nobody is helping"
Teen (usually a popular kid) who likes to think they have it rough due to teen angst:
"Man, nobody gets me I hate my parents bla...bla...bla..."”
For the purposes of my discussion I have given my own definition of “teenage angst” as follows:
The behavioural emotional effect on an individual when that individual is:
intellectually (consciously considered) or instinctively (without conscious consideration)
“calibrating” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/calibrate) (To check, adjust, or determine by
comparison with a standard) their life, where the “standard” is perceived from his or her
environment, at a time when an individual first acquires the capacity to be
intellectually aware of their own existence.
Although these four lines encapsulate the essence of my understanding clearly a
greater explanation is required as to how I have come to this conclusion and what
implications I draw from them.
Before I continue my personal journey and explain how I coped with my period
of teenage angst I will spend some time explaining the nature of this topic as I
believe it is of great importance. Whatever one chooses to call this period of a
person’s life I feel very strongly that what is happening should not be dismissed as
pejoratively as I feel is being done currently but that a full recognition of its
importance be understood. To be honest I find it incredulous that the processes of
emotional maturation that children go through, appears to be neither taken seriously
nor recognised for both its importance and at times the extreme emotional turmoil it
can create. The term “teenagers” often evokes a stereotype image; moody recalcitrant
youngsters that lazily stay in bed for half the day and party the night away with
questionable friends. There is an almost universal tacitly accepted perception that such
behaviour is just a phase that teenagers go through, often belittled by adults and
some teenagers alike. The sometimes depressed moping behaviour is regarded as
whinging self-pity. Some forty years on from my teenage years my understanding of
this phenomenon has profoundly changed. I can see now that such criticisms are
wholly unjustified and could not be further from the truth. Through examining my
own teenage angst I have discovered certain realities about this time in our lives
that needs to be understood; to change perceptions and attitudes towards teenagers for
the benefit of children and adults alike.
I Know That I Am: Becoming Aware Of Self
Not everyone is a Plato or a Socrates and yet all of us are philosophers. I
suspect that everyone, at some time in their lives, has considered the meaning or
purpose of life. I certainly remember in my teenage years having deep discussions of
wonderment at: the miracle of life, the existence of God or not, a belief in ghosts
and aliens, the vastness of the universe and sometimes just the silence of
experiencing a mystical moment, lying on one’s back of a summer’s night, gazing at
the night sky, pondering the immensity of the universe (and perhaps by contrast the
insignificance of ourselves). It is truly a time of discovery and of wonderment (or
should be). Of course amongst those thoughts, for us mortals, would be beginnings
and endings: the glory and wonderment in a dawn’s rise or the sadness at the loss of
a loved one. For those that are drawn to consciously think about such issues, hours
can be spent speculating on the hereafter, creating a homogenous mixture of
traditional and home spun religious philosophy, determined more by our individual
predilections rather than an objective philosophical critique, a sort of philosophical pick
and mix. All of which were as valid or as invalid as each other, as none were
provable or disprovable. Such experiences, by my definition of philosophy
, “Speculating on the unfathomable”, were philosophizing of the purest kind.
However, what was happening in those discussions was not just ideal speculation, or
for that matter the development of any great philosophical theorem, but, I believe, a
necessary and very important function was being played out. Like our ancient forbears
trying to make sense of the world they live in, so too do we as individuals, as we
become aware of ourselves as an abstract entity in the world we find ourselves in
. This becoming aware process is of momentous importance as the outcome of what
we think influences the rest of our lives.
So what is this momentous awareness and how does it happen? Well first I
would like to look at this “happening” historically. (I describe in greater detail
in: yet to come ) This is a possible corollary that goes to explain how man, as a
result of having developed complex language became capable of abstract thought.
As a consquence of this ability, man became consciously aware of his own existence,
“I know I am (existing)”. I believe that man is unique amongst all other animals
in his ability to be consciously aware of himself and although this may seem an
almost trivial awareness, the subsequent implications are very profound. For instance
one of the more thought provoking considerations is that man can perceive his own
mortality. Perhaps the most profound of all, (in a more honest moment) man would
recognise his ignorance and impotence at the “creation” he finds himself in.
Furthermore he can see himself as part of an existence governed by rules, most
notably that of causality:
that one action begets another. He can analyse the nature of life, quantify
it, and give it, to some degree order and structure. It can be seen as the time when
man was first able to “step outside” “the game”. Also I believe this awareness,
precipitates a sense of morality. We of course are bought up in a society with that
awareness infused into our knowledge but I believe as individuals we still go thought
a personal awareness experience, in the same way as our ancient forebears did. This
happens when, we as young people become intellectually capable of being aware of our
own existence: the years of teenage-angst. Now I will look at the effect that this
awareness has on the process of child-to-adult transition.
The mechanism that drives all animals (man included) is that of “survive to
procreate”: the goal, to be the best and so win a mate. For young animals (with
reference to mammals mostly) to achieve this goal, they have to learn about their
environment and about their strengths and weaknesses in order to learn how they fit
into their troop or community’s hierarchical structure. Mammals learn their position
through their relative success in playing and fighting but without the analytical
consideration that sophisticated abstract thought allows man to be able to do. Man
however as teenagers, can consciously consider aspects of this process of maturation.
Unlike other animals the indirect influence of our self awareness; “I know I
exist” has a profound effect on how we process that information, making it far
more complex and emotionally fraught compared to other animals. In order to
explain this assertion I would like to consider what I believe to be some of the
effects our awareness engenders:
Through interactional experiences with its environment, a child learns about itself,
what sort of person it is and the abilities it has. If these experiences have been less
than positive, the child can perceive and become consciously aware of itself as being
less than the best... an awareness of being a “failure” not a “silver back” or troop
leader. Furthermore a youth can recognise the notion of causality: that what we do
or do not do will have a particular, predictable outcome, it therefore could see its
failure as a result of its ’s own inabilities or choices that it is not what it could be,
leading to a sense of guilt. They can look at life comparatively and recognise that
not all situations are the same: they can consider “what if” and recognise a sense of
fairness/unfairness. Apparent contradictions and strong emotional feeling can lead to
confusion and can deduce that they may have been fed bad/inaccurate sometimes
conflicting data.
Moving on to look closer at the process emotional maturation:
I see the main aspect of child to adult transition as one of “calibration” as
described in my definition. In essence this is taking a “standard” derived from
what we perceive about our environment in conjunction with the data we have been
taught about ourselves, to find our position within society. However for a conscious
“calibration” to work the fidelity of the data for both the “standard” and the subject
is of great importance. Whereas, in the almost automated calibration that animals go
through, (where there is no conscious consideration) there can be no good or bad
calibration in the sense that whatever an animal learns about its environment or self
, will be the best knowledge suited for its later survival as an adult. However
humans can analyse aspects of this calibration process: and in doing so come to
various awarenesses and subsequent conclusions. A child brought up in a tough ghetto
will be prepared for the hardships of that environment; a child brought up in a
middle class environment will be prepared for that environment; neither will be bad
from an animal instinctual perspective. By “Stepping out of the game” and not
focusing on the primal motivations of survive and procreate but recognise that by a
conjunction of “causality” and “what if” a child can recognise we as adults can
“control” the nature of the outcome of our children’s child to adult transition. I feel
it would be universally agreed that from a child’s point of view it would have been
better to be brought up with positive affirming attitudes. What we have been “fed
” from the events and interactions from those around us in childhood, will determine
what we think about ourselves and how we respond to particular circumstances.
Perhaps not put better than in the poem of Dorothy Law Nolte:
Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn;
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight;
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy;
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty;
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient;
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence;
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate;
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice;
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith;
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself;
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to
find love in the world.
I am not for a moment suggesting that our children are consciously considering all
of the above issues as they go through their years of teenage angst but I do feel that
I have demonstrated that it is very complex and a time of great importance. Nor
do I consider that I have covered every aspect of what is happening but have given
enough food for thought to challenge some of the stereotype attitudes towards our
young people as they come to terms with their child to adult transition.
Although the above concludes my understanding of teenage angst and expiation why
I feel we should take better cognisance of it, I think it would be remiss of me not
mention the other side of the equation as it were: Living with young people and
relationships in general.
TO BE CONTINUED
dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teen%20angst. :-
“When teenagers, for any number of reasons combined with their hormones and stress from school, get depressed. Contrary to popular belief, some teenagers actually do have it rough and have to deal with shit most adults don't have to. Other teens don't and just like to pretend they do. Either way, everyone has a right to be pissed off
Teen who actually has it tough and has teen angst as a result:
"I am really depressed man my parent died and nobody is helping"
Teen (usually a popular kid) who likes to think they have it rough due to teen angst:
"Man, nobody gets me I hate my parents bla...bla...bla..."”
For the purposes of my discussion I have given my own definition of “teenage angst” as follows:
The behavioural emotional effect on an individual when that individual is:
intellectually (consciously considered) or instinctively (without conscious consideration)
“calibrating” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/calibrate) (To check, adjust, or determine by
comparison with a standard) their life, where the “standard” is perceived from his or her
environment, at a time when an individual first acquires the capacity to be
intellectually aware of their own existence.
Although these four lines encapsulate the essence of my understanding clearly a
greater explanation is required as to how I have come to this conclusion and what
implications I draw from them.
Before I continue my personal journey and explain how I coped with my period
of teenage angst I will spend some time explaining the nature of this topic as I
believe it is of great importance. Whatever one chooses to call this period of a
person’s life I feel very strongly that what is happening should not be dismissed as
pejoratively as I feel is being done currently but that a full recognition of its
importance be understood. To be honest I find it incredulous that the processes of
emotional maturation that children go through, appears to be neither taken seriously
nor recognised for both its importance and at times the extreme emotional turmoil it
can create. The term “teenagers” often evokes a stereotype image; moody recalcitrant
youngsters that lazily stay in bed for half the day and party the night away with
questionable friends. There is an almost universal tacitly accepted perception that such
behaviour is just a phase that teenagers go through, often belittled by adults and
some teenagers alike. The sometimes depressed moping behaviour is regarded as
whinging self-pity. Some forty years on from my teenage years my understanding of
this phenomenon has profoundly changed. I can see now that such criticisms are
wholly unjustified and could not be further from the truth. Through examining my
own teenage angst I have discovered certain realities about this time in our lives
that needs to be understood; to change perceptions and attitudes towards teenagers for
the benefit of children and adults alike.
I Know That I Am: Becoming Aware Of Self
Not everyone is a Plato or a Socrates and yet all of us are philosophers. I
suspect that everyone, at some time in their lives, has considered the meaning or
purpose of life. I certainly remember in my teenage years having deep discussions of
wonderment at: the miracle of life, the existence of God or not, a belief in ghosts
and aliens, the vastness of the universe and sometimes just the silence of
experiencing a mystical moment, lying on one’s back of a summer’s night, gazing at
the night sky, pondering the immensity of the universe (and perhaps by contrast the
insignificance of ourselves). It is truly a time of discovery and of wonderment (or
should be). Of course amongst those thoughts, for us mortals, would be beginnings
and endings: the glory and wonderment in a dawn’s rise or the sadness at the loss of
a loved one. For those that are drawn to consciously think about such issues, hours
can be spent speculating on the hereafter, creating a homogenous mixture of
traditional and home spun religious philosophy, determined more by our individual
predilections rather than an objective philosophical critique, a sort of philosophical pick
and mix. All of which were as valid or as invalid as each other, as none were
provable or disprovable. Such experiences, by my definition of philosophy
, “Speculating on the unfathomable”, were philosophizing of the purest kind.
However, what was happening in those discussions was not just ideal speculation, or
for that matter the development of any great philosophical theorem, but, I believe, a
necessary and very important function was being played out. Like our ancient forbears
trying to make sense of the world they live in, so too do we as individuals, as we
become aware of ourselves as an abstract entity in the world we find ourselves in
. This becoming aware process is of momentous importance as the outcome of what
we think influences the rest of our lives.
So what is this momentous awareness and how does it happen? Well first I
would like to look at this “happening” historically. (I describe in greater detail
in: yet to come ) This is a possible corollary that goes to explain how man, as a
result of having developed complex language became capable of abstract thought.
As a consquence of this ability, man became consciously aware of his own existence,
“I know I am (existing)”. I believe that man is unique amongst all other animals
in his ability to be consciously aware of himself and although this may seem an
almost trivial awareness, the subsequent implications are very profound. For instance
one of the more thought provoking considerations is that man can perceive his own
mortality. Perhaps the most profound of all, (in a more honest moment) man would
recognise his ignorance and impotence at the “creation” he finds himself in.
Furthermore he can see himself as part of an existence governed by rules, most
notably that of causality:
that one action begets another. He can analyse the nature of life, quantify
it, and give it, to some degree order and structure. It can be seen as the time when
man was first able to “step outside” “the game”. Also I believe this awareness,
precipitates a sense of morality. We of course are bought up in a society with that
awareness infused into our knowledge but I believe as individuals we still go thought
a personal awareness experience, in the same way as our ancient forebears did. This
happens when, we as young people become intellectually capable of being aware of our
own existence: the years of teenage-angst. Now I will look at the effect that this
awareness has on the process of child-to-adult transition.
The mechanism that drives all animals (man included) is that of “survive to
procreate”: the goal, to be the best and so win a mate. For young animals (with
reference to mammals mostly) to achieve this goal, they have to learn about their
environment and about their strengths and weaknesses in order to learn how they fit
into their troop or community’s hierarchical structure. Mammals learn their position
through their relative success in playing and fighting but without the analytical
consideration that sophisticated abstract thought allows man to be able to do. Man
however as teenagers, can consciously consider aspects of this process of maturation.
Unlike other animals the indirect influence of our self awareness; “I know I
exist” has a profound effect on how we process that information, making it far
more complex and emotionally fraught compared to other animals. In order to
explain this assertion I would like to consider what I believe to be some of the
effects our awareness engenders:
Through interactional experiences with its environment, a child learns about itself,
what sort of person it is and the abilities it has. If these experiences have been less
than positive, the child can perceive and become consciously aware of itself as being
less than the best... an awareness of being a “failure” not a “silver back” or troop
leader. Furthermore a youth can recognise the notion of causality: that what we do
or do not do will have a particular, predictable outcome, it therefore could see its
failure as a result of its ’s own inabilities or choices that it is not what it could be,
leading to a sense of guilt. They can look at life comparatively and recognise that
not all situations are the same: they can consider “what if” and recognise a sense of
fairness/unfairness. Apparent contradictions and strong emotional feeling can lead to
confusion and can deduce that they may have been fed bad/inaccurate sometimes
conflicting data.
Moving on to look closer at the process emotional maturation:
I see the main aspect of child to adult transition as one of “calibration” as
described in my definition. In essence this is taking a “standard” derived from
what we perceive about our environment in conjunction with the data we have been
taught about ourselves, to find our position within society. However for a conscious
“calibration” to work the fidelity of the data for both the “standard” and the subject
is of great importance. Whereas, in the almost automated calibration that animals go
through, (where there is no conscious consideration) there can be no good or bad
calibration in the sense that whatever an animal learns about its environment or self
, will be the best knowledge suited for its later survival as an adult. However
humans can analyse aspects of this calibration process: and in doing so come to
various awarenesses and subsequent conclusions. A child brought up in a tough ghetto
will be prepared for the hardships of that environment; a child brought up in a
middle class environment will be prepared for that environment; neither will be bad
from an animal instinctual perspective. By “Stepping out of the game” and not
focusing on the primal motivations of survive and procreate but recognise that by a
conjunction of “causality” and “what if” a child can recognise we as adults can
“control” the nature of the outcome of our children’s child to adult transition. I feel
it would be universally agreed that from a child’s point of view it would have been
better to be brought up with positive affirming attitudes. What we have been “fed
” from the events and interactions from those around us in childhood, will determine
what we think about ourselves and how we respond to particular circumstances.
Perhaps not put better than in the poem of Dorothy Law Nolte:
Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn;
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight;
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy;
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty;
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient;
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence;
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate;
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice;
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith;
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself;
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to
find love in the world.
I am not for a moment suggesting that our children are consciously considering all
of the above issues as they go through their years of teenage angst but I do feel that
I have demonstrated that it is very complex and a time of great importance. Nor
do I consider that I have covered every aspect of what is happening but have given
enough food for thought to challenge some of the stereotype attitudes towards our
young people as they come to terms with their child to adult transition.
Although the above concludes my understanding of teenage angst and expiation why
I feel we should take better cognisance of it, I think it would be remiss of me not
mention the other side of the equation as it were: Living with young people and
relationships in general.
TO BE CONTINUED